Thursday, March 31, 2011

A Rant About the Catholic Religion and Their God.

I don’t quite get it, why do you believe in god again? Was it because your parents told you about him and made you go to church? Did you open up a bible and just conclude that it all must be true? Maybe it’s because of where you live.  You know religion can be mapped out right? Maybe something happened to you and you give credit to the invisible man in the sky. I used to believe in god once, I don’t anymore. I even used to be a confirmed catholic. That all changed when I began to question.  All you really need to do is properly question and god just seems to poof away in a puff of logic. That’s what I did! I’m godless, happy and fine, and I don’t need help from the divine.
I’m an atheist. It’s pretty nice. I get to sleep in on Sundays. If you’re a regular catholic, you probably sleep in on Sundays too, unless it’s Easter or Christmas. I find it funny how most people are. You will see some people wearing crosses but when you ask them about their favorite passage in the bible they have nothing to say! Speaking of wearing crosses did you know that the cross was a torture device? Yeah, people wear them around their neck! Sometimes the crosses have Jesus on them. I don’t know about you, but if I was Jesus, I wouldn’t want to be constantly reminded of, well you know.  Lenny Bruce once said, “If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.” I find that funny. Maybe you don’t if you believe In that sort of thing.
It’s interesting how people will say they are religious, yet they don’t always follow the rules. It’s like people create their own religion now a days. They say, “Yeah, I like that whole part where Jesus died for our sins, but not the part where they say that we can’t have sex before marriage or eat meat on Fridays.” I find it funny how they are so quick to put sex and bacon above their god, yet they complain when someone speaks ill of their god. It’s alright as long as you get your boobs and bacon, but don’t commit blasphemy!
When someone tells me that they believe in God, I always like to say, “Oh really, which one?” There are two thousand eight hundred and seventy recorded deities. They don’t believe in the other two thousand eight hundred and six nine gods and I don’t believe in any of them. I always wonder, what makes their god any less fake than the other two thousand and sixty nine. Or you could rephrase that and say, why is their god the only true god? I can’t find any legitimate reason why.
Bible thumpers are always a riot. Some actually believe that the story of Noah’s Ark actually happened! As well the whole story of Adam and Eve! They just don’t get evolution either. They say things like, “Evolution is just a theory.” Which is hilarious because it shows that they don’t know what a scientific theory is. I always like to remind them that gravity is just a theory as well! Then there is the Jesus story. Boy do they love the Jesus story. I like it because it’s not very original. It’s been done before! Horus, the sun god of Egypt was born on December 25th, had a virgin mother, performed “miracles,” he had twelve disciples one of them betrayed him. Horus was crucified, then in three days he was resurrected. Sound familiar? If that story wasn’t enough for you look up the stories of Attis, Krishna, Dionysus, and Mithra. Good thing plagiarism wasn’t illegal back when they were writing the bible. Someone could have been crucified!
I just don’t get prayer either. Do people think it actually does something? I’ll let you in on a little personal story of mine. When I was four years old I was diagnosed with Leukemia, cancer of the blood. Apparently my whole family prayed for me. I appreciate their thoughts, but I don’t think it actually did anything. The chemo was what actually helped. All prayer can really do is give you false hope. It really has no power at all. What if my family said, “Forget the chemo, let’s sit around him and pray for the cancer to go away.” If they did that I’d be worm chow by now. To prove my point further a medical study was done in 2006. The New York Times had an article on it called, “Long-Awaited Medical Study Questions the Power of Prayer.” Journalist, Benedict Carey reported that, “Prayers offered by strangers had no effect on the recovery of people who were undergoing heart surgery, a large and long-awaited study has found. And patients who knew they were being prayed for had a higher rate of post-operative complications like abnormal heart rhythms, perhaps because of the expectations the prayers created, the researchers suggested.” So you can pray for people all you want, but all that might do is give them high blood pressure.
As you can see, I’ve clearly rejected my old religion. I enjoy not being religious. I enjoy joking about religion. When people ask me, “Have you found God?” I always love to respond with, “I’ve looked everywhere! Even under my bed, but that rascal just doesn’t want to be found!” If you find some sort of comfort in believing in this stuff then that’s fine. Just don’t kill anyone because of it, or get mad when you see that evolution is in your child’s biology text book, or go around preaching it like it’s the absolute truth. The truth is, we just don’t know the answers to everything. I’m willing to admit that. But I’m not willing to fill in the blanks with God.
If you are part of the catholic faith, then I implore you read your Bible if you have one. Read it from start to finish. It’s always good to know what you are supposed to believe. Maybe then you can know what you truly signed up for.  I also implore you to question. Always question everything, even if it opposes your faith or what your family believes. It’s easy to go along with the flock, but sometimes you have to break free to avoid following them off a cliff. 

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